Its a sad day...

My tenants came up to see me yesterday and told me that they are moving out. One is moving in with here boyfriend and the other is moving in with her girlfriend.
So..no more Red.



SJ

I think we all pine with you. But you never know . . . this may present a whole set of new and interesting situations.

The "Cavalcade of Idiots" will have to be done to find one sane renter.
Last time we listed, we got over 100 calls and 23 apps for the place.

I love some of the questions we get:

"Can I bring my leopard?"
No

"Can I paint the place? "
Sure.
"Can I paint it black?"
No..go away.

"Is it child friendly?"
No Ma'am. It eats childen when no one is looking.

"I have 5 Malamutes. Do they count as dogs?"
What part of "No-Pets" did you not understand?

"Can I park my spare car under your treeline?"
Can I set fire to it?

"I have to host the IBM company picnic. Can we host it here? BTW... I cant pay the first month's rent cause I have to buy the beer."
I dont see this apt in your future...ever.

"I dont really like kids. Are yours around a lot?"
Oddly enough..yes. They come back each time we drop them off at school. You're a loser..get away from me.

" I like to sunbath in the nude. Is there a place around where I can do that?"
( Very ugly woman.) No. Im sorry. We have just decided to become Mormons.

"If I see any deer on your lawn, Can I shoot them?"
No. If you discharge a firearm on my property I will kick you out immediately.
"So I guess a shotgun is out of the question?"
Im sorry the apartment is no longer for rent.


and the list goes on and on....

But would you rent to me?

Butt wood u wrent 2 me?

No more Red?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Thanks for the "Cavalcade of Idiots" laughs!
I needed that, today - damn malware!

:sigh:
Living vicariously has its drawbacks. I'll miss her. Well, your wonderful stories about her, anyway.
I hate to wish for someone to be cursed with an interesting life, but so far it's been terribly entertaining.
Blah. I'll have to find a new avatar. How 'bout a tiny particle of burning iron?
Thanks, SamJack.

For the most part I enjoy my "interesting life" quite a bit. Bizarre trouble always seems to find me so Im sure there will be more odd tales. Especially with having to interveiew new tenants...

BTW. EVERY one of those questions have been asked of us.
My favorite was the lady with the kids:

"So Im thinking about putting my children in the back room."

Oh? You have kids?

" Yes. Why? Is that a problem?"

No. But the back room only has one door and no windows so we cant lease it as a bedroom.

"So I cant make it into a bedroom?"

No Ma'am. I couldnt rent to you for that reason alone.

"So because I have kids I cant move in there?"

Not if you are going to place them in that room.

"Sounds to me like you are discriminating against me cause I have kids! Why did you ask if I had kids?"

Because I have one of my own. I thought maybe they could play together.

"But you still arent going to let me rent from you?"

Im sorry, but the back room isnt safe for sleeping. So "no" Im not going to rent to you.

"Well I think I will just get a lawyer and sue your ass for discrimination"

Alright, then I will make sure that I call the local fire marshall and the housing inspector's to make sure you understand the reason for me not wanting to endanger your children.

"Listen you F%&*^%in Son of a Bitch! I need a place to rent and this is the only one that sounds nice. Im Gonna Sue your ass!"

Youre kidding me right?

"No! I need a place to live ( totally unintelligible garbles and screams ) goddammit!"

Ma'am. There is absolutely nothing you could say right now that would get you into my house. You need to hang up now.

"Oh...Alright...I'm really sorry."

Alright. Well good luck on your apartment hunt.

"Wait? So... Can I have the apartment? I said "Sorry""

No.

"Click"


( God I love renting.)

You're BS-ing, right? No? Gawd . . . I gotta get out more.

No . . . wait . . . I'm happy NOT knowing any wackos like that!!!



I suppose I'm just acclimatized to those around me here?

No kidding...

Please, Dear God...
Grant me the courage to endure the trials before me.
Grant me the courage to field 200 phone calls.
Grant me the stamina to politley deal with idiots, welfare mothers, slackers and douchebags.
Grant me the strength to deal with the militant lesbians, newly married "Bob's", and self righteous environmentalists.
Grant me the patience to deal with the mental misfits of our society, the divorcee's, and the wanna-be cougars.

Please let me find SOMEBODY sane enough and smart enought to rent from us and share our living space.

I am SamuraiJack.
Lord, Hear my prayer.


Yes, the ad has gone in...
Im dreading this week.
SJ...

Good luck, even though I hope you do not need it. Fingers crossed!

More drama on the renting front, I see.

This is one of those things that I've often thought that getting a "pay as you go" cellphone contract with some crappy second-hand phone would be worthwhile... Give that number out, and when you're done, you just stop paying for it. You also know what it's about when the phone rings, and when you don't want to be disturbed, you turn that phone off.

I did that for a "for sale" add that I had out, and it was well worth the expense. I got voicemail messages at 3AM, countless ones during dinnertime, and other inconvenient times of the day. (Those would be the ones that you DON'T answer, if you're looking for a renter at your home. If they'd inconvenience you calling about the add, what will they be like living there? <shudder>)

Take Heart, As much of a pain as it is now to screen these people, the effort that you put into doing so will be rewarded... Even if we're all going to miss Red...

We found a nice young man who seems to be a level headed guy.
Red, in her inevitable way, left with grand style. If I get a chance I will write up my midnight encounter on the front lawn with her...

The house has a more normal feel to it now.

You're a twisted and cruel man, SJ, you can't leave us hanging with just that! DETAILS, man DETAILS!

Wow! Of all the mods I'd place Supra high up on the list of ones who'd just kinda sit back and wait for more. But here he is actually SCREAMING for details! Now, is it that SJ has Supra adding to the excitement. Is it Supra is just doing it to be nice to SJ. Or is it that Supra really has caught the Red bug?

<joking>

I want details too but SJ is just trying to find the time to do the story justice I'm sure.

It is very typical "Random Red"...

Moonbathing in the buff again, eh?

Hey, what can I say, I have a well known prediliction for redheads.