Im not talking about things that make you mad. Im talking about the little things that people do that you find funny or just things that make you a little bit crazy, but still laugh about it.
These are a few of the things that make me chuckle and a little bit nuts at the same time

• People who put coats on Huskies
• People who buy wine glasses with no stems
• People who insist on mousepads when they use an optical mouse
• Animal rights crusaders who wear leather
• People who assume the copier is broken cause it needs paper

Give me some of your examples of things that miff you a tiny bit, but make you laugh much more...

I need a few good chuckles today.

SJ

This one came up at a tech meeting today:

When booting a computer: "Keyboard Missing or Error. Press F1 to continue"

I had to lol @ the animal rights folks who wear leather, I can think of few, if any, bigger oxymorons (stress the moron part) && the f1 error always makes me smirk.

* Folks who would rather buy a generic replacement part 5 times @ $15 instead of the good one for $40.
* Folks who complain about the same things every time you see them but never do anything about it.
* My Spieling & crammer skills.
* Folks who ask for help then claim to be experts and telling you your wrong.
* dogs who bark at nothing
* people who who do moronic things in traffic, then look at you like your the moron

You have to if the table is shiny.

Being that samuraijack is one of our best and most informed members I am sure he is just talking about generalizations. Surely he knows that a mousepad is preferred for accurate tracking. I for one am a competitive gamer and every good gamer uses a super high resolution mouse with a pad... thats just all there is to it

oh and the thing that pisses me off but DOESN'T make me laugh is people switching lanes and not signaling(I drive for a living so this may be why I am super sensitive to it). It is very common practice here in Vegas and even some of the police do it. Las Vegas blows... don't move here

What happenes in Vegas stays on youtube

Click to view attachment
That really gets me. Or when someone pulls out in front of you and you half to slow down cause they don't no how a gas pedal works and then they decide they want to turn left whem there is oncoming trafic.

Mmmm... Scary drivers. No shortage of those here.

Icy winter conditions, crazy slippery out there, and these idiots with their 4WD SUVs figure that they can drive as though it's dry pavement out there... Then they're surprised when they can't STOP any better than I can. You'd figure that if you live in a city which gets WINTER, you'd learn to drive in it... Apparently not.

Microsoft message: "Would you like to Move or Copy files from this zone?" Choices: "Okay" and "Cancel" Hey wait! Isn't that an either/Or question?

But how can you really be sure it's nothing?

I hate that now they actually stamp every damn egg with an expiration date.

I can't figure people who absolutely refuse to eat stuff that's even 1 day past the expiration date.

1 day? that's when you get a good deal at the store How about going thru the drive thru and there are a bunch of cars ahead of you and when you finally get thru your fries are cold anyway....

Cold french fries... Is there anything more disgusting? Anything that one might actually eat, that is...

Actually, when they're cold is when you can tell just how bad they are for you while they're hot, I think. (Don't get me wrong, I like them too, but eating less of them has done many good things for me.)

I am talking about office workers...Drones if you like..

Resistance is futile


people who call you who cant even get you name right.
people who call you who you cant understand
people who call you

You mean people call you? I get #%&@$ machines calling me at dinnertime.

I particularly love the one that tells me "Your car's warranty is expiring soon..." -- I've got 483,000 km on my odometer. I think that the manufacturer's warranty expired long ago, thank you very much.

hmm... maybe its the extended plan?

Yeah machines too. pita. My favorite: Dont be alarmed..... blah blah blah

another thing that drives me bonkers is people who want me to fix their computer, but insist "that a friend of theirs, who works for IBM, says it's probably *insert problem here*"

Thinks: So why doesnt HE come over and fix it? Jeesh, Im doing this housecall out the goodness of my heart and you have the gall to tell me that you want to use someone elses diagnosis? What did he do, channel it like Kreskin? I can start with his lameass diagnosis, but I will be willing to bet you its not anywhere near what the actual problem is. IBM? Okay so what is he like... a janitor?

Says: Well, we can start there if you want, but if that isnt the problem it will only add to my billable time.


I have NEVER, NOT ONCE, been able to concur with the diagnosis of "someone from IBM"...

Ah yes. I think that anonymous fellow who works for IBM has a lot of friends. Many people get their PC diagnosis from him, and somehow his batting average isn't so good as to what the actual problem is.

It's also his fault that whenever I call Dell for one of my clients, I get to spend at least a billable hour saying "Yes, I did that. No, it didn't fix the problem." until they finally agree that I might possibly have diagnosed the problem correctly before calling them for a replacement NIC.

I heard about that same IBM person.

3 months after he got married his wife was complaining that they hadn't consummated their marriage yet. It seems that he was an IBM "Sales Man" and all he did was sit on the edge of the bed and tell her how good it was going to be when she finally got it.

Sorry if that's a little off colour and topic, but I really dislike that mythical IBM employee.

People who say "pair" when they mean "pairs." It's not like "sheep." One pair is two things, two pairs are four things.

Oh and people who put a T on the end of "second". The elevator in my school says "Secont floor". Meanwhile everyone says seconn when they're talking about the measure of time.


The signature matching part of credit card security. The only security on a credit card is me keeping it in my pocket, zero-liability offered by the credit card company. I have been doing my own silent protest for 3 years now by signing someone else's name on the receipt. I've been questioned twice and refused sale once in 3 years, and I use the thing on average 5 times a day. For a while I drew pictures, sometimes I scribble, but usually I write the name from the cashier's name tag, or a fictional character.

i have been using my wifes card for 2 years now and only 1 time did some one check it - and they called the number I suplied to conferm with "her" ( yes it was her but still lol )

People who can't merge / yield annoy me the most.

Since I am now living in the great state of Minnesota that includes just about everyone.

You activate your turn signal to change lanes or merge and the person behind you in the lane you're going into....

...(if they're fairly close, but far enough back that it's safe to move over) they speed up because god forbid somebody should be in front of them.

...(if they're WAAAAAYY back, like say 1/4 mile), you change and continue driving at normal speed, but then a few seconds later, they come barreling behind you, within an inch of your bumper while laying on their horn and swerving into the lane you just got out of.
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When you go the speed limit, but somehow get into the far left lane. You keep trying to change lanes, but the people who think the limit isn't fast enough keep passing you, blocking you from the slower lane. You keep activating your turn signal and moving over, but every time, the jerk behind you swerves into that lane, gets right beside you and flips you off while mouthing "move over" or something to that effect.
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Pedestrians who walk (in large groups) in the middle of the street when there's a sidewalk available (bonus points if they give you a dirty look when you honk at them to MOVE)
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People who park their vehicle on the sidewalk
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People who stop their vehicle at a red light on the crosswalk and then give the pedestrians dirty looks as they cross
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People who change 5 lanes all at once (Usually from left lane of the interstate to an exit)

People who gun it, from what I could only guess to be an effort not to be the last car in line, when you are the last car in the line of traffic then go slower then dirt or turn 2 second down the road.

People who bang their mouse in an effort to make their computer faster...

C'mon! Is this REALLY going to work?
Show me one instance of this making a difference and I will shut up...

It makes me feel better. I pretend the desk is Bill Gates head. I don't expect it to speed things up though.


Hmmm . . . I"ll never be able to order a pair of bluejeans again without stuttering.

I meant when people say they "have two pair" of something. It's pairs. One pair of jeans, two pairs of jeans.



I think the problem with people not using turn signals for changing lanes is that they're named "turn signals" (in America). They should be called "turn or change lane signals", or better yet they could go with what most other countries say: "indicators" are there to indicate one's driving intentions.

I'm with you. It's just I've always found the pair thing with jeans and scissors to be odd.

@SJ: Remember way back when when mice has those little roller balls, and the things that moved with the balls would get clogged up with crap? Banging the mouse on the desk then would sometimes make the mouse track again when it was getting spotty. Somehow, people got it into their heads that it was the COMPUTER that wasn't working, not the mouse, and that somehow banging the mouse worked like flogging a horse. It's a theory, anyway.

I have used/replaced mice that were banged so hard that they actually had bent rollers in them.

(Mouse to the left)
Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobble..Wobb
le..Wobble..Click



/sigh

I think That is why enduser is a dirty word, and has become synonymous with moron.

This also right up there with kids on game controllers - I think they believe if they push the button as hard as they can, the character can jump higher, run farther, and dive faster.

We run a game box in the house and we always tease each other about "body english". I think every member of our family has been caught leaning over or trying to duck during some game...

haha yeah I like watching the 5 year old practically fall off the couch turning corners while playing mario kart

Strangely, that can be helpful on some games when playing on the Wii.

I have actually been signing my card receipts with "Don't Pay Me" for about three years. I have never had anyone question it and I make all of my purchases with a bank card as I never use cash.

That brings me to my things that drive me nuts.

• Business that do not accept credit/debit cards
• People who insist on using cash and exact change in line ahead of me at the store.
• People that don't realize that they can use separate paragraphs when posting on a forum. You know the six hundred word paragraph.
• When going to a store to buy pants and I ask for my size and they tell me, "We don't carry that, no one wears that size."
• hehe, and finally women that tell me "Why can't I find a guy like you." That has to be one of the biggest insults on earth to a single man.

Right along with women who dont get that men CANNOT "be friends" after they have slept with a woman...

People who break out their snow blower to clear less than an inch of snow off their parking spot (which is only big enough for two cars), but when they see their neighbor shoveling six inches of snow and ice during the next storm ten feet away do not make any offer to help them out.

This brings to light my biggest one;

The mentality of: "I got mine & screw you."

This is the true cancer of our society.

People who think that having a 4WD automatically makes them invincible and bonded to the road

Mail carriers that deliver someone else's mail to you, especially when the address on the envelope is about twenty miles away.

People that pay with checks in the express lane.

People the critisize your spelling on a forum & misspell a word while doing it.

People that dump a cup of coffee on their keyboard then call me the next day because it's now a solid piece of plastic & act like they have no idea what happened or blame the cleaning person.

People that don't listen to their voice mail & just call you back & ask what you wanted then having them tell you they will need to get back to you.

People that just can't understand that you need to go home & let your dogs out after work or that you cannot just drop your kids off at someones house when they call you up last minute to see if you want to meet them for dinner.

Guys who don't lift the seat to urinate at public restrooms. I avoid having to sit down in a public restroom as much as possible, but on the rare occasion I need to, I don't want to get your piss on the backs of my thighs. Have some common decency guys. You wouldn't piss on your own toilet seat, and you'd be pretty annoyed if I walked up behind you and started pissing on the back of your legs.

People who still use cash at all when there's a choice. Cash is heavy, slower to use, wasteful (pennies supposedly cost 1.4c to produce), and the only paper trail it leaves is a billion faded receipts that are cryptically worded. Credit/debit is instant, guaranteed, and with online banking can be kept track of very easily. My roommate has about $50 of change in the couch, the dryer, his bedroom and car floors, and other random places in his live. He always bitches about not having enough money, but he's literally wasting cash every day by loosing it.

Pennies.

people who dont use punctuation in forums they really annoy me i cant stand to read their posts i mean come on we all went through middle school right

People who refuse to learn simple survivor skills like changing a flat tire is entirely beneath them because by their higher than thou intellectual viewpoint possessing these skills is pointless when they are able to pay people to have things done for them is the only reasoning.

My girlfriend didn't understand why I was so upset when she told me she didn't need to learn to change her tire because she could just wave down a guy for help. She doesn't think she's too good to do it, but she does hold onto some gender role stereotypes.

You know, urine is actually very sanitary, even antibacterial. In fact, if it sits around long enough, it becomes ammonia. At one point, people used this stuff to wash their clothes and to "bleach" wool for processing into clothing.

So remember, the person whizzing on the toilet seat is actually just sanitizing it for you.

Yeah! What's better than sharing a good STD amongst us men, it's all about sanitizing the world. Join the brotherhood!

People who dont bother to read Service Alerts....then call on Sunday AM to find out why they cant connect to the servers.

"Im sorry. This was in the Service Alert Broadcast. It was sent three times during last week to ensure that eveyone knew about the outage. I am looking at the email and it shows you were sent copies."
"Well...Nobody ever reads those."

"Apparently someone does, because you are the only person who has called this morning."

Oh...Well how will I know when the servers are back up?

Your email contains all the scheduled information.

I deleted it. Can you send it to me again?

Yes Ma'am

Not to mention the possibility of the person stopping having "less than perfect morality"...

I had one time a customer calling me his mouse stopped working. Even replacing it with a mouse from his colleague did not help.
However when his colleague used the mouse on his system it worked perfectly. The moment he used it it did not work, then the colleague , no problem, He tries again, not work, colleage it works, etc..
Very strange. It made me nuts for a while that i could not figure it out. So i stepped in my car, went over there to see this phenomena for myself. And indeed one person using the mouse no problem, the other person using it and it is not working.

After a while i figured it out. The sun was low and was shining under the mouse and disturbed the optical sensor.
The colleague was left handed and when he used the mouse he covered the mouse on the left where the sun was shining. The other was right handed so the sun could reach under the mouse.

I am quite sure you were viewed as a tech god walking among mortals after figuring that out.