Last night, i invited my buddy to come over with his multi meter and a pack-a-brews to work on my broken xga projector. After a couple drinks. we were sitting outside next to the grill, when he just broke down in tears and told everyone to leave him alone. when i thought he was better ten minutes later. the same thing happened, he uncuntrollably broke down again. he told us he didnt want it to be a big deal and wouldnt tell anyone what was wrong no matter what. This kept happening and he kept running away from the crowd to cry alone. i forgot to mention this was my best friend who worked in the refinery with me, but anyways i felt really bad for him and this kept happening. Finally after a long cry, he told me to ask everyone else to leave. So i did. and he finally told me. His dad died of a stroke and he hadnt told anyone about it. he was only 38 years old. I felt horrible for him, but all i could do was sit there with a shocked look on my face. I don't now how to deal with these situations, and he talked fondly of his father, almost every time we hung out prior to that. I don't know what the point of this thread is but it really makes me put my life in check. no matter what our goals are in life: money, fame, family, getting a house, none of these things matter when you die. so try and think about whats really important, because we really only have a short time to experiance this miracle we call life.

P.S. he didnt even have enough money to see his own dad's funeral, i will leave names out of it for the sake of his privacy, but how are you supposed to deal with situations like this? Love the one your with people. and have a great day.

Sorry to hear about your friend. The loss of someone close to you leaves a huge hole and it takes a while for it to grow back.
How do you deal with a situation like this?
Best way I know is to think to yourself "What would I want someone to do if I were in this spot?"Times like these call for many different things, it may be talking, it may be just hanging out. The thing is you just got to let them know that you are there for them and that you care.
Most of the time, just knowing that someone cares can take away 25%$ of the pain. The rest you have to heal.

Just be there and help them through it.
If you feel odd about it, just admit that you arent great at it. You'll get better and so will they. "You know I suck at this, right?" is a sure fire smile phrase.

We all go through bad patches and if you are the kind of man who is willing to help a friend then good for you. Not too many people would post this and then ask for a little help for the sake of another person. Thats the mark of a good person. Sounds like he is lucky to have you as a friend.

Tell your friend I am sorry for his loss.

SJ

sorry to hear about the loss..

just to clarify..your friend is 38 or his dad was 38? If so your friend must still be a teenager...can't imagine that happening when I was a teen..can't imagine it now as 30 approaches...Of course there's never a "good age" to lose your parents. One thing about getting older is watching your parents get older too, and theres a fear in that..but having that cut off and having to wonder about it must be much worse.

To clarify, he was my age (21). his dad died young at 38 and he wasnt in bad health. he just had a triple bypass stroke, and unexpectedly left this world. I can only imigine the courage it takes to deal with a situation like that, especially after leaving his family and traveling across states to pursue a career. he loved his dad, and the one thing that he told me that made him feel better, was that he knew his dad loved him back. he told me he wasnt close to his dad before he died, but he respected him like a hero for raising a family of 3 boys. it makes it worse because he told me this before it happened. and he was able to visit him after not seeing him for over a year, and he told me the talk he had with him about the importance of life only a month ago.

Just an update: yesterday i got a call from him at work telling me to call him back right away. turns out he got fired from his job. talk about bad luck luck turning worse. Man thats a bumpy to try to travel. geesh whats next?

As long as you can still breathe, Life can (and will) hand you anything it feels you can handle.
I figure you'll try to cheer him up, so maybe you could frame it that its a good time for it to happen so he can truly grieve. You know, wallow in the ashes for a bit and get it out of his system. Sleep for five days, get hammered and howl at the moon etc...

Then pick himself up, get a new job, and start an entirely new chapter in his life. Secure in the knowledge that he mourned his Dad as well as any good son would.

I'm not sure I would call that "bad luck"...it may be the EXACT thing he needs right now.

SJ

yep I couldn't imagine holding it together at work if my dad died at such a young age. just help him out however you can and like sj said it might be better to start off at a new job.