Hello all,

It is my first post

I want your thoughts on this:
Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?


(Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)


Thanks.

If you are still close to your parents and feel that they need to be taken care of, then you should. Western civilization has moved too far away from the extended family unit and it is showing in the manner in which we take care of our elderly folks.
Do I 'owe" it to them? Not really. It is part of the grooming and raising process.
Will they get it? Yes. Because they taught me well and I love my parents.

I dont owe them anything but my life and my existence...

It's a balance and a complete picture, imho.

The balance is that, while it is a noble thing to do for family what you can, your own family comes first (wife and your children). If your parents truly need you, and you are in the position to help, then honor would say to help.

Now, there are also the times when you are simply enabling negative behaviors. We don't choose our parents, and parents don't have to be licensed to have kids. Any sperm cannon can have a baby. If you are one of the unlucky ones to have a drug addict parent, or an alchoholic, or some other compulsion or abuser, then your help may only be making things worse. Sometimes love needs to be tough love.

It is hard to judge the situation wisely, but you have to. If times are tough for your parents from some poor planning or a job loss or illness, yes ... you should be there and sacrifice (to a point) to help them. If they are in trouble from a lifestyle that is dangerous to themselves and others, you may consider limiting your help to meals or specific needs ... not general cash or paying bills that just free up money to continue the drugs, alchohol or whatever.

You also have to protect yourself in some of those situations.

But the majority of the time, parents just need some help ... just like you did at one time. And that help may be needed again. As SJ says, the universe is watching.